i am a thirty-one year old female with a two year old daughter. this web log is to chronicle my struggling marriage, my hypothetical divorce and very real legal problems.
3/22/10 legal woes over i am struggling to find a venue by which to change what happened to me for others.
i would also like to note that this is not a place where i discuss positive aspects of my life and ask that any inference of my attitude should include this knowledge.
4/4/10 blog is hibernating currently. reevaluation to follow. i am safe and functioning fine. thank you for reading.
6/8/10 some hibernation, huh? reevaluation resulted only in less public-service-y tones and hopes. since giving that up, i feel completely purposeless even though my expectation was relief. life’s funny like that and by funny i mean, full of shit. blog now seems to consist of mostly personal catharsis. enjoy………
7/22/10 blog is totally unfocused now. hope lost of helping anyone with my story. however, i read stories like mine everyday. please refer to the “others” i mention on the left sidebar. they’re doing the real work. the work that i cannot do. most of my energy is going to psychiatric and psychological care. dealing with emerging symptoms of pstd and trying to be well enough to keep going.
again- for information about mother’s rights and domestic violence, please check my blogroll for the others who are fighting this mess.
7/1/13 i’m 34 now. i’ve left out a great deal. i hope to write more down soon.
7/22/2014 nearing 36, still married. chronic pain condition. disabled and permanently retired. struggling onward with not enough help. of what sort of help would be useful i am unsure. doing the best i can to raise my child, nurture my delicate marriage, keep among the living. sleep too much, eat too little, drink too often. watching my parents grow frail and my mother’s alcoholism fracture her brain function. something that i used to have inside of me is dead and i’ve been mourning it without being able to put a name to it. life is pretty colorless lately. i’ve plenty of anger, but very little fight. isolated from life to the furthest degree i’ve ever been. reading a lot. pbs. sleep. daughter. husband. pretending to not be in crisis.